Five things that every guy should still do after the "I do's"

After a man says his "I do's" a certain amount of comfort sets in with his new wife. The new and exciting world of dating is over and the odd and wonderful world of marriage comes over you two like a wave. But even after you get the girl of your dreams anf she starts stealing your flannel shirts for bed and you see more make up less days then her glam days. She still wants to feel like you are still chasing after her. I have made a list of the top5 things that will help you make her feel still chased and desired!

1, Always text her first, this is important because a girl wants to know she is on your mind. Even if its a quick "hey I love you" or something a bit more. When we feel like we on your mind we feel like we are important.

2, Spend time with her friends. These people have been in her life maybe longer than you and they mean something to her. So spending time with them makes her feel like what she values matters to you. And doing that simple thing can make her more comfortable with you because she knows you care about every aspect of her life.

3, whatever you did to win her heart do those things to keep her heart. We feel in love with you in that time and the effort you put into the relationship. So many people feel like when the ring is on the finger the work gets to stop and life should just happen. But couples need to remember it took time to become connected so it will take work to stay connected.

4, pray with her! This makes the bond you have stronger. Prayer can be a very reveling and emotional time. Especially if she is having some life struggles. Taking the time to show her that you are with her in prayer and in the times of life makes the trust stronger between you two.

5, never criticize her body! With time comes changes
Some changes can be good and some can come from a place of comfort. A woman's body is sometimes the thing we have the most insecure thoughts about. Thats why when we go out as a single women we dress to impress. We want to be wanted. We want to feel beautiful. If we start to feel like you see more flaws than beauty you will notice a big change in her. So even if you see gravity hitting us love that her body is now yours and she wants to give it to you.

Staying in the bubble of comfort...

As Christians we tend to get more comfortable with our bubbles then I feel un believers do. We have what the world is longing for, Jesus. Un believers are constantly searching for that thing that will make them complete. So they try anything and everything. But when we find God our search of happiness almost dies. We figure we have God so we are done. The work and search is over so we settle down in our ministry get comfy and figure we can sit here until our life on earth is over. But as my pastor has said in a few of his messages....WAKE UP!!!

   We can't afford to be sitting in our comfy ministry and not actually ministering! Living a full life is probably the best ministry of them all! When we live to the full potential God gave us we shout how big and fabulous our God is!! But when we just find comfortable living we never really live and those ministry's we are serving in DIE! They because comfort kills boldness and boldness saves the un believers, plain and simple. And our boldness doesn't have to be us beating up on people with our bible but boldly living what the bible says and its truths for life.

We can't make him the one..

One of the hardest times in my single years was dating scott. For some reason I played God in my head. I wanted to be married and have that life so badly that I made up a calling and a vision. I told myself that the Lord told me he was my husband. And even tho it was a year of back and forth dating, fights and even rejecting good advice. The pain I made myself walk in was so thick I should have been wearing waiters to track through all the extra stuff and emotional problems I had sunken into.

I see so many young ladies do this. They experience pain with one area or man and think, "well if this new/ old flame works then all will be fixed" im sorry but no it won't. Focusing your thoughts and time on a man who may or may not want you is not the way to fix your life! God is! And if you want a restored life then put down the lust of a relationship with a person. And pick up the pure love and relationship with Christ.

Ex's are ex's for a reason. They are not meant to be. If a man walks away from you then let him. Because the man God has for you will be chasing after you and putting in the work to keep you. Stop making excuses for a man that's not yours! He may have been in a relationship with you at one point,but he was never yours! My ex was never mine and I was never his! He has a beautiful woman as his wife and I have a sexy deputy ad my husband! And if you ask any of us we never saw the other coming,but when God had us meet, we knew. We didn't have to try we just fit.

My relationship with scott and others thought me so much. But my relationship with God has touched my life and given me more knowledge than my past relationship ever has. Our past is meant to stay behind us. Our God promises a hope and a future. We need to chase that and not a man.

My advice is to become the kind of woman you want your, brother or son to marry,and follow God whole heartedly. God will bring the husband if you trust him in the single days!

The ripples of a life.

Have you ever noticed the amount of ripples one small rock can make in a pond? I truly believe one life can send a dramatic amount of ripples in to the world, to where thier life never stops effecting the world. Never can a more perfect and profound example of this be more true than with my brother-in-law, Clinton. He has changed so many lifes and brought true faith to the Ingman household. And his story showcases God and his Devine plan in a moving and life changing experience.

Clinton kyle Ingman was born and the world had no clue that on that day the game changed forever. God put into motion a mighty plan when he formed Clinton in my mother-in-laws womb. Who knew a baby could have such a large calling on his little life.

If you sit down with any member of my husband's family and ask them to describe Clinton the first thing you will notice is the smile that takes over there face. It's rare to see someone smile from their forehead to thier chin but it happens every time. And then the stories will start of how loving, kind, and giving Clinton was at such a young age. When most children are yelling and punching their little brother to give his toy back Clinton loved sharing with my husband Alex. One of my favorite stories involves my brother-in-law comforting adults in hard times when he was just 3 or 4. God's unconditional love lived out for all to see in a little blonde boy in cowboy boots. But these stories are just the start of the ripples.

On a normal day a very tragic and at the time un-understood accident happened. My brother-in-law passed away at the age of 4. Leaving behind two heartbroken parents and his 2 year old brother, My husband Alex. At this time the ripples began to grow...

The first time I really had a true conversation with my father in law he told me a story of his Faith and how he truly knew God was/is real. After Clinton passed my father in law asked God for a sign in a moment of real and emotional prayer. When asked  God for a sign he  answered in the best way possible for my father in law. Every animal on thier property began to let out it's cry. To me I can see God gathering the animals and explaining why he needed this to happen. Can you imagine right now God in his calm and loving voice telling the dogs, birds and other animals that they were to call out for his son. His son he loves so much. I often do this with my two dogs for my husband. I let out a loud bark to get them excited for Alex to walk into our home from a long day at work. We love Alex and are so happy to be with him that I get them pumped up for his arrival so he feels loved in that moment. The same was true for God and Dave, my father in law. God loves dave so much that he got the animals pumped up for this moment. The moment his faith went from there to true and unwavering.

Another ripple formed because of Clinton. His father's faith was made real because of his son's life. And this faith poured out into the rest of the family. And God continued to use this faith to guide my father in law in his law enforcement career.

Luke 1:46 to 50
"And mary said, my soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my savior, for he has been mindful of of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the mighty one has done great things for me. Holy is his name. His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation."

In the verse about Mary is talking about her pregnancy with Jesus. A mother is talking about her faith in a time of not really understanding God's plan. Because at this time she is visiting her cousin Elizabeth.

A mother's humble love for God and trust of his plan is Mary's example and also the example my mother-in-law cindy brings to my life. This amazing woman, who I get to call family and my children will call grandma, is a huge ripple in this story. In the face of a situation where she could have been broken to the point of no return she stood strong and she stood in love. A mother's love is one of the strongest things God has ever made. It can move mountains and change lives. And the love my mother-in-law pours out every day is more than some feel in a life time. And so many times when we talk about. Clinton's life, she will say she doesn't understand why God had Clinton live such a short life but she trusts God and his plan and in any situation I get in where I want to complain about what I think is a hard and un fair moment in my walk I think of her. And her trust of God's plan.

Now to the ripple I love the most and am so grateful for. My Alex!! A man I prayed for almost every day as a little girl. Alex is kind, full of love and respect for the Lord. It comes from the ripples he brother started. Alex and his family lived about 45 minutes from the town we live in now. They had property up there and was starting to form a life. But due to Clinton's passing and God moving/working they moved.

Alex went to a private Christian school his whole life and in seventh grade a very tall and awkward Girl came to his school. And one day at lunch alex met this girl. We didn't know it yet but that moment was the first time I would talk to my husband. RIPPLE! Due to the move my in laws and husband made in the 1990s it set us on the path to met and fall in love. Answering a prayer my heart cried for to be answered. My whole life I dreamed of my Prince charming. I dreamed he would ride in and save me from my awkward and lonely self. But God had a better story in mind. Our story and our story plays out every day because of the ripples Clinton's life still makes.

Alex told me when we were dating of his brother and his life. The story was a hard one and not with out tears. But a few things stood out to me in this story. For one Alex was a very obedient child because of his brother. He knew his parents had already experienced such loss and pain that he only wanted to do his best and be his best for them. And the obedience her showed made for a very close and strong relationship with his parents. The next thing that stood out was Clinton's effect on his life. Alex had some prodigal years where he went out and wasn't living in his promise. But his brother's memory kept him in line to a point. He often thought what would Clinton do. And it would give him a chance to think over what he was about to do. This kept Alex on a road that lead to me and God used that to grow Alex in his faith. And he now has a deeper relationship with Christ and when his deputy schedule allows he is in church something that he had never done before. One life has created love, relationships and lives changed. One life did all of that and so much more. And Clinton's ripples will continue on in the children Alex and I will have. The faith and love those children will experience. The testimony their lives will be.

God uses unlikely and sometimes hard moments to propel us and those around us into our callings. My life the life of my husband and in laws have been changed forever because of one little boy. And the callings we each have on our lives will effect many more and those people will go out and effectively share the testimonials of their lives. And the short life of Clinton was the start of that ripple effect.

Now to wrap this up with a final thought. We have the same life changing ripple effect in us. God made us to ripple out and touch the world around us. I shared the story of my brother-in-law because I wanted t show you that point. God made us as rocks that ripple the water when we drop ourselves into the life he has called us to live. Because our calling isn't what we do but who we are. Clinton was kind, loving and true and so are his ripples. What ripples will your life make?