He loves us and them..

Today in my churches worship service we sang "He loves us", and during that song I felt lead to clode my eyes as i often do so I can worship God with out distractions, But when i closed my eyes i saw them....
I saw the faces of the peolpe I have written off as lost forever, people I have lost relationship with, people I love, And they were singing" oh how he loves us." they spun around me and at one point I had to open my eyes to take a break from thier faces, It was too much. I felt so much hurt ,disappointment, and loss for each and everyone of them. But I also felt HIS love for them. We sing this song so much and we become so selfish with it at times like He loves those who are good and in this service with us,but no He loves all of us. I have this, well a few old friends God always keeps on my heart,at one point guilt and anger kept them there but God freed me of that and instead put the word love on my heart and it has become my obession to figure out how the church can love better. So many will read this and write it off as whatever they want but they will miss the truth here God puts love in us and we need to share it. Not in the gross tv fake version of love but the real love the love that makes you fight for someone the love that makes you go out of your day to day and think of someone other than the yourself or the people that are nice to you. Yes them, but dont forget the under dog the ,little guy, the person you dont want to love because by the worlds standards you have every right to walk away not show them love. I was at meeting for work and they had all the new employees stand and in the sea of names they called that of my 1st boyfreind someone who had hurt me in many ways in my past someone who the world would it was ok to hate and to not show love or kindness to,but we forget that those we write off he God has written on  his heart. So when a break came and the halls were full and  my ex ened up next me I said "Hello", not alot of love you might think, but it was what God would have done a hello to a man who thought the would have gotten a verbal beat down from an angry ex. I ask you to pray about this word love and think next time you hear" oh how he loves us" how many us' are in the world and how many can you show Gods love to.

The ex files...

The fair is in town and for my small town it means the social event of the year. Where you will see everyone from your middle School art teacher to the ex you never thought you would see again. For me I see my ex boyfriends all the time I go to church with one and his cousin is another ex. So I'm pretty use to seeing them and saying the casual "Hello",but it can still be odd to see someone you once had feelings for. Even though I am married and very much in love. I found my self feeling very uncomfortable around and ex last year at the fair. It could have been that he was following my group of friends like a lost puppy trying to get my attention. (people always want what they can't have,cuz I'm not that cool lol) But I did end up having a quick conversation with the lost puppy ex and it was nice to have him ask about my husband and my life with him. And he now has a girlfriend a year later and I hope to meet her at the fair this year. So any people have hate or distaste for people from the past,but if we learn to forgive and see them the way Christ sees them then we learn to respect the good times we had with them and simply learn from the negative times. I know personally I am the person my husband needs me to be because of the past relationships I had. They had many lessons. And some if even carry with me on a day to day basis. "lost puppy" ex thought me so much about respect for my self. It came through many hard times with him,but I have that today and enjoy having a powerful love and respect for myself. But I say all of this with a warning, nostalgia isn't what it once was. Learn from the past don't live in it. I have too many people in my life that live in the past where it keeps them from the blessed life God has in mind for them. Ex relationships are exs for a reason. And 99.99% they need to stay that way. If you were unhappy with them in the past ,but think only about the good and dream of a day when you two will be one again  most of the time you are missing the lesson God wants for you and are replacing it with day dreams of lust. Learn and move on but you don't have to hate. Thank God for the good and bad and take the lessons with you in your next season in life. I thank God for my past,because I see now that only God can give me a future!

Be Blessed

What dreams may come

Over the past 10 years of my life I have wanted to do what Daniel could. I have wanted to interpret my dreams.

This may sound silly or a bit childish and I understand that but the other day while driving with my husband I told him of a reoccurring dream that I have been having since I was about 10. I've always found this dream to be odd. So when I told my husband I thought he would just laugh and tell me I was silly. But when I was telling him my dream I saw a look on his face that wasn't one of silly listening but I look of profoundness about to be expressed through words. And I am blessed to share this dream and the wisdom I got to go with it.

My reoccurring dream is one of me sitting in the backseat of a random vehicle going down a highway and realizing that no one is in the driver's seat I then quickly try and move towards the driver seat so that I can begin to steer the vehicle but I never seem to make it to the steering wheel I always find a reason to stay in the backseat. And when I explain this to my husband, he paused look straight at me and said "I think God is trying to tell you that you need to take control of your life." I replied with "how so?" And he explained that I have been very well taken care of my whole life and that it has in some ways allowed me never to truly try with my goals and dress because I always had a back down if looked like the road was going to be a dead end or hard.

And he is right! I will bail on a dream if it doesn't happen within a week or a month. But that kind of lifestyle is not the one I want to live anymore. My dad always told me. "Tasha, you need to work o. Your follow through. Because you suck at that." Again he is right. But the fact that both my dad and husband are right about these things I because I made my life that way and I Can make it anyway I want it to be. I have the choice to take my life by the wheel and control it or I can sit in the back seat and hope for the best. Buy I want the best and I want to be the best me I can me I can be. I remember hearing a story when I was younger. It was about a an that wanted to win the lottery and he prayed every day to win but he never did and finally he got so upset with God and yelled at him ,but came down and told him,"you never bought a lotto ticket!" I don't want to be like that in life any more. Asking buy never doing. It's time to work hard and see dreams come true!

The journey of friendships, saving the best for last.

Deena and Melinda are two of the most impact full and important friends I have in my life. And they were two individuals I never thought would ever become one of my friends. A great surprise from the Lord.

I met Deena when I started going to the 18 and older bible study her and her husband Doug hosted at their house. But it wasn't until she was the female chaperone on a retreat that I went on did we really form our friendship.  I was going through a nasty on again off again relationship that lead to me having a eating disorder. I thought if I was skinny it would fix everything that was wrong in that relationship. But as my body started to look worn and tired my emotional judgement went out the window. I was a all over the place emotionally and the stress along with the games both me and my ex were playing had me near a break down, but Deena stepped in with grace and love. She so lovely gave me advice and would with/for me. And most importantly she had my back when no one else did. She has had my back so many times over the years but she never fails to tell me the things I need to hear. And that leads me to Melinda. She is like deena in a lot of ways. Always there and with many wise and completely honest words. She also became my friend after a hard break up. One Sunday after church she came up to me and handed her number and told me to call her if I ever needed anyone to talk to. The support these two have given me over the years and still give me to this day shows me the kind of friend we all need in our lives and we all need to be. One that is honest, loving and has your back. Even when I'm wrong they love me. And I want to show the same love and grace to those around my life and in my life.

So thank you ladies I couldn't have asked for better people to have my back and call friend. I hope one day I can return the love and support!

The journey of friendships part 2...

I believe to have better relationships with others you need to first be your own best friend. To know ones self and love yourself is a hard journey for some, myself included. But now that I'm 27 I want to stop with the comparison to others and really take time to get to know me. I want to truly enjoy who iam as a person. I want to get to know the woman God made me to be and fall in love with her. And I think we all need to take time to the same with ones self. Take time away from the distractions in life and get to know you! You are the only person you can never get away from, so why love yourself and become the friendship you have always wanted. So below I have listed 5 things you can do to start a new relationship with you. As funny as this sounds I believe when you learn to be yourself and love it others around you will treat you better and have more fun with you because you will treat you better and have more fun in life.

So here are your 5 steps to being your best friend!

1, take time to be alone.
I love drives in the country and lucky for me I live in a small town that has plenty of back roads. When I take this time for myself I can clear my head and see what really matters at the time. And learn more about how I feel when it comes to life issues.

2, talk to yourself
Who is going to want to talk to you if you don't even want to hear what you have to say. And I don't mean walking around town full on speaking out loud,but keep your inner voice going all day. Say positive things to yourself when you are having a down moment. Put a quote on your bathroom mirror and say it aloud every day. Becoming comfortable with saying how you feel will pay off in moments that would normally bother you.

3,try new things
For me I can get caught up in the day to day stuff but if you set aside 10 to 15 to play a new game, try new make up. Or even set a new goal to work towards then you see yourself in a totally different light. Do something you are comfortable doing, something that will push all comfort zones aside. For me that means tranning for a body comp. I'm taking year to do. But I want to do something I know will be hard for me to learn more about how strong God really made me. It's going to be a hard road but I'm excited to see what I will learn along the way.

4, eat by yourself
Going to a restaurant alone is one of the biggest no's to a woman. But it will get you in the practice of enjoying being alone. Food is always enjoyable so why not start with something yummy!

5 start a journal
Keeping a journal will start the habit of really seeing your thoughts and emotions for what they are. Often we let these two things rule our lives,but if we have a time of reflection every day we will learn to stop and use this new skill in every day moments. Which will help in better decision making. And better more true to yourself decisions will lead to a happier you!

I hope you enjoyed these tips and have a blessed day!

National best friend day 2015...

I woke up this morning and saw that it was National best friend day. What a great thing to celebrate in my opinion. Friends and best friends are some of life's greatest blessings. And how awesome is it that it's during our journey of friendships! God is full of wonderful surprises in his plan. Because to be honest exploring my friendships is not something I wanted to do but it was something God wanted me to do. And I tried to talk him out of it, especially when he told what friendships I was to write on. But he knows best. And this week I get to write two blogs, And I love writing! So this week is already blessed. But let's take a look at best friends since today we celebrate them.

In my life iam abundantly blessed with 3 best friends. My husband Alex, my sister Jessica and my Becca. They all bring beautiful and unique things to my life. And Best friends should bring beauty to your life. To have these wonderful people in my life and to have very different relationships with them shows me alot about the different types of friendships one can have. So let's take a moment to look at all 3.

Let's start with my husband. A man like no other. Smart, strong and true to his beliefs. God has told me that he will be like jacob. And he loves me the way jacob loved Rachel. He is also smart like jacob and knows how to get what he wants and needs. And he is also very wise. He will come out of no where with words that would make Billy gram take notes. He brings all of these wonderful gifts to our marriage and friendship.  He is strong when I'm not sure how to be, he loves me with a fire that could never dim. And has a relationship with the Lord that makes you wonder how yours could become that true. Each day this an teaches me something new. As a friendship should, they should add to your life never take from it.

My sister Jessica is a woman like no other strong in will and purpose. She is driven and nothing can stop her once her eyes on the goal. I love that about her! As kids she did everything crazy and loud. But she was always happy and had many friends and people around her. Her energy brings something to the table of life most people long for. She has tough me to be myself and always try new things.

And now my Becca, a woman who angers me and makes me love her more all in the same moment. Becca has a heart of gold and has such a spirit of evangelism. She wants to be friends with everyone and save them from the hard things in life. Plus when this woman sings to the Lord it melts away any wall you have built up and she brings you to a place where you and God can be together. I love our talks, they don't happen as much as they use to, but when they do happen I am at such peace.

Each one of my best friends brings something positive to my life.They all bring love and acceptance. Buy the best thing about them is that I see God in all of them. He uses each one to show me his love. And I hope I do the same for them. Be blessed and make sure you tell your best friend why they are so special to you today!

The journey of friendships intro blog..

Sometimes God has friends put in your life to bring you closer to him and sometimes he separates you from a friend so he can fill the space in your life where that the friendship was occupying. We also need to still stay open to a separated friend having a comeback in our lives. God may use a comeback to change the game! But always remain in prayer during any of the above mentioned friendships.  Because with out God in the lead and middle of any relationship the relationship will fail or take a turn it was never meant to take.

Tomorrow I will be sharing a very hard am painful friend separation. A little back story of the friendship so tomorrow's blog with have more impact and explanation of why this was so hard for.

My friend and I have known each other since our Jr year in high school were we sat next to each other in English class. O adore this woman to this day and we have had many bumps in our journey of friendship. We had another falling out due to a boy who thought he could have two girlfriends at once and then it turned out they were friends. God had me drive from our little home town to a big city near by to repair the friendship and then time came in a separated us and when he placed her on my heart again many years later we became best friends and I felt God saying this friend was from him and we would do and have a mighty ministry together. Days before our first big event the separation we are now in took place. So tomorrow we will go over what happened and what God has and is showing me through this time.