Freedom a prayer....

Dear Lord hear my heart today help my heart today because it is hurting...it hurts because I have recently received freedom and now I see how un free your children are. We keep chains as name tags, placement, belonging, us... when you have come and died so we can be free and know your availability and plan for us. Us as individuals and one body. I hurt seeing people pick up the pain because they don't see themselves as anything else. I see women cling to past relationships for love and belonging. I see men afraid of you because it's weak. This makes me cry because that is not what you died for, you came so we could have life and it in abundance! Chains of doubt and lies are not abundance. God help me be the person you called me to be and not the lies the world try to convince me is me. Help me win people to your kingdom help me love the way you love and help me be a warrior for the freedom of my brothers and sisters in you!

When God fufill our need before our promise

Revelation 3:7
"These are the words of him who is holy and true, who holds the key of David. What he opens no one can shut ,and what he shuts no one can open."

The above verse just shows me that God has a plan and nothing will change that perfect plan for us. And sometimes we don't see what the plan is until 10 years down the road. Well at least that is how it has played out for me. This moring as I was walking with one of my students I thought "I have really done so much mothering this morning." And in that thought God reviewed the 10 years of my career in a flash and the purpose of it. I have worked in a care giving flied for 10 years. I have had my need or hearts desire of being a mother meet. I'm not a mother yet but God has given me the opportunity to love and care for people in such a way as a mother. How cool is that!? God has taken care of my need before the promise because he loves and cares for me!

He has also been teaching me in these 10 years. I have learned so much from clients or students that I feel more equipped for the role of mom. Now the role of mom is still years away but I'm just in awe of how good he is to me, really how good he is to us all! We may not see why the door is shut to a season but the door may be shut because he is still teaching us how to handle things we will come across on the other side of the door. I have cried about not being a mom yet,but I see how God is prepping me for one of the biggest roles, callings of my life. All I can say is thank you for this Lord! Thank you for shutting the door until it's your time for it to be open and thank you for what has been opened to me!

He loves us and them..

Today in my churches worship service we sang "He loves us", and during that song I felt lead to clode my eyes as i often do so I can worship God with out distractions, But when i closed my eyes i saw them....
I saw the faces of the peolpe I have written off as lost forever, people I have lost relationship with, people I love, And they were singing" oh how he loves us." they spun around me and at one point I had to open my eyes to take a break from thier faces, It was too much. I felt so much hurt ,disappointment, and loss for each and everyone of them. But I also felt HIS love for them. We sing this song so much and we become so selfish with it at times like He loves those who are good and in this service with us,but no He loves all of us. I have this, well a few old friends God always keeps on my heart,at one point guilt and anger kept them there but God freed me of that and instead put the word love on my heart and it has become my obession to figure out how the church can love better. So many will read this and write it off as whatever they want but they will miss the truth here God puts love in us and we need to share it. Not in the gross tv fake version of love but the real love the love that makes you fight for someone the love that makes you go out of your day to day and think of someone other than the yourself or the people that are nice to you. Yes them, but dont forget the under dog the ,little guy, the person you dont want to love because by the worlds standards you have every right to walk away not show them love. I was at meeting for work and they had all the new employees stand and in the sea of names they called that of my 1st boyfreind someone who had hurt me in many ways in my past someone who the world would it was ok to hate and to not show love or kindness to,but we forget that those we write off he God has written on  his heart. So when a break came and the halls were full and  my ex ened up next me I said "Hello", not alot of love you might think, but it was what God would have done a hello to a man who thought the would have gotten a verbal beat down from an angry ex. I ask you to pray about this word love and think next time you hear" oh how he loves us" how many us' are in the world and how many can you show Gods love to.