Saying goodbye to 26!!!

Today is my 27th birthday. The 1st day in a new year of life or a new adventure as I like to look at it. 26 started with soap opera like moments to the one where I should really right it down and see if General Hospital wants a new storyline. One of our best friends  (I say our as in my husband and I ) and myself got hurt by someone we trusted and I loved very much. I think the pain from those moments have turned into scars,but as a child I to an odd point loved scars they always meant you lived with no training wheels on. Just went for it. And now those scars mean something positive to me. They mean God will provide healing in everything and seasons are there to teach you not hurt you. And that season thought me so much about myself but the ones around me.

My 26th year also had amazing highs! My husband became the law enforcement officer he had dreamed he could be. I was blessed to pin his 1st badge on him in front of friends and family. That moment was like putting his wedding ring on him at our wedding. It simbolized a new chapter God had waited for us to enter. I could be more proud and honored to be married to a man with a calling on his life!  26 also showed me that love at first sight is a real thing. My completely amazing and beautiful niece ariya lynn was born and wrecked my heart with the amount of love it holds now. My sister Becca did so well in labor and thought me so much about love and being a mommy!

All the ups and downs of 26 showed me more about God's love for not only me but for those around me.  In my times of doubt where I thought he left me behind he would ever so gently remind me of his love and call on my life with his words and the words of the people he blessed my life with. I see those around me in a new light and perspective. I thinks it's more like God's perspective now. One of love and more mercy. My new motto for 27 is "To love my God to the fullest, be the wife iam called to be and make today it's best version"

Be blessed and know that whatever life season you are in the memory of it will make you stronger and closer to your call one day! Enjoy the bumps because HE is with you in them! Goodbye 26 and I'm glad to meet you 27 let's go have an adventure!

The labels I gave myself and the freedom I found

In life we claim that the world puts too many labels on us as women and to a point that is true but we never look at the labels we put on ourselves.

As a woman, wife, daughter,sister,friend, employee and believer it can be easy to become what ever hat you have on in any given moment. We become what ever label that moment calls for. I have done this too many times to count and it has made me more consumed by the label than who iam as a person and what makes me.. me! Because in being consumed by whatever label I have on the hat I'm wearing I have begun to put out all kinds of labels. And I let those labels define my day mood and life. Which held me back in life in so many ways. I became more focused on keeping my labels and finding new ones to cover up the hurt of not having certain labels. That I lost myself and couldn't see all the things that make me up and make me happy. I wanted to be perfect but wearing all those labels made me tired and stressed out. But not too long ago I confronted myself and had a long inner battle over many things and at the end of this inner battle was God. Sitting and waiting for his daughter to figure it out. So quite living and calm. As he is always is with me. When I realized my battle lead to another level of victory over strong holds and walls keeping me from my call I was thankful for the battle. Because now I know him and myself better and my life is no longer about the labels but it's about, loving my God,loving my husband and living each day to its best version. Ripping off labels we or others put on us will set us free to be the daughter God knows us to be.

Are you on fire or put out...

Too often our flames have been put out by life, hate and hurt. I know at times my flame has gone from a ragging beach bon fire that could burn down a whole city to a single flame that would barley light a dollar store candle. And up until today I didn't see my hand in this.

We pick what are fire or flame looks like. It's not the circumstances around us that dictate what are faith looks like. Things in life will be amazing and at times horrible. But in every aspect we have a choice. We have our free will and always will. Our free will is here in our hearts and minds to chose every day what life we will lead. Will you lead the life of a soul on fire, little light or the choice of no light  at all.
Know it's your picking. Because God gave you a call, Things to do in your life that are mighty and powerful and will positively impact the Kingdom of God!
You can't be a force to be reckoned with if you can barely light that dollar store candle. I know that sounds harsh,but its true because the enemy will blow you out in a heart beat if you are not living the heart beat of God and your call. know this to be true because I am slowly building my flame into a fire again.

I have let my fire turn into a tiny flame because of hurt and fear. my heart has  broken because of friendships and the hurt of those lost relationships has turned me into a fearful woman. Scared to be myself. And in doing this I have become terrified of my call. A call in women's ministry can be a scary thing when you are afraid of relationships. Because that's  what ministry is...relationships. and the relationship I have feared the most recently has been mine with the Lord. I love God soo much he is my everything. The reason I smile every day, the reason I have my husband and truly blessed life. He is my best friend. But in the past few years other best friends have come into my life like a tornado. Ripping apart my life and love for people. Which I have chose to let  shrink my fire to a flame. But recently I have felt and heard God so much and he has just been asking to spend time with me. He has missed his time with me. And I have missed my time with him. So much that I am holding back the tears right now so I can finish this blog. And reach my point  without over sharing and boring you!

So in staying on track I will explain what it looks like to rebuild the fire from a tiny flame. It comes down into two steps.

Step one: Spend time with him!!! Pray, read his word and listen to him. So much fire comes from hearing his voice! His voice is like a box of matches for our dry field like lifes. He will ignite our life. If we let him.

Step two: Don't give up! No matter what never give up on your Faith!!!